this is a personal posting to special someone I hope will read this.... the card and music are fantastic. The OM necklace pendant is thoughtful and precise. My best birthday presents, with hand-inscripted lettering. Dinner was so fun.
forgive me for pursuing you so ardently. Not my style and out of character but you've stirred my heart and it's pulsing for you. We know each other as room-mates, I think the most intimate kind of bond, of 8 months' time. We've been friends for almost 2 years. We share an enduring bond. I am warm in your embrace, odd as it feels to be parked on a street, you ready to go, before we begin to feel too many things and before lights go on in your house. Not cozying up for an evening in my living room, you in the rocking chair and me on the perma-laptop.
The moon, at first a floodlight that couldn't be happening, on my drive home from the I.E. soft blanketed darkness, extra deep in this nearing-winter Solstice night. Past the blinking needle-high casino, the zigzag curves through windmill forests, the long, open road, and in the mountains to the left, that light- towards 29 Palms? No - it was the essence of moon, surprising me with its not-yet-rising. I knew that moon had been full, but this night was so dark, it took moments to surmise. And I fell in love.
Looking up a minute later, the heavy moon, lofted not-full but large over the jagged horizon. How could it have risen so quickly? The night had become rich and mellowy and full, in one faint twist of road. Past Date Palm Road, and bearing down to Palm Desert - that last straight stretch of Interstate 10. And then, the moon was partially obscured again. I understood it wasn't a trick of timing, or time lapse, but of position. The waning moon was playing hide and seek, a peekaboo, behind the nearby arid range - and then, before Cook Street Exit, it was a sliver of light again, its orb concealed. The moon never fell out of the sky. It only seemed to be playing tricks of mind.
This is how I feel about us, homie. A symbolic recognition that I can only hope is a premonition of how friendship, and maybe love, again, will unfold between us. The darkest night, the shortest days, the stars glowing in gentle company but not quite bright enough to consolidate the jag of being alone in the world - although we are stardust, too - and then, a surprising glow, hard to believe, and there it is - the moon! Maybe a bit topsy turvy, not in the full shone elegance and bravery it displayed a week or two ago when full, but there altogether, and larger than small. Bigger than millions of stars, on its own, a stellar moment of sky, reflection of blindness we can finally peer our way through - a round window of love, shaven just a bit on top, behind the mountain, above the mountain, partially obscured.
Don't give up on us homie. The moon hasn't forgotten us, either. My heart, your hug, and my forever telling you how sorry I am, and how, to this moment of now-the-moon-is-high and it's all going to be all right, I look to a new cycle of dark, and then light, in the pierce of winter solstice.
The moon forgives its gravities to a vast planet that blinds its surface. Maybe your orbit will once again trace into mine, and this time, a further study of the many craters and nuances - like we are entirely new friends, galaxy, supernova. With the affection and love it's taken me a lifetime to fully comprehend. The beauty, the beauty, the innocence and the serene.
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