It's a predictably hot Friday in Palm Desert. I'm inside. Ceiling fan and air purifier rhythms collide. Webster's dictionary added a plethora of new words today, among my favorite is the phrase "sock puppet." Semantics and word play are my #1 things. Besides hiking, whitewater rafting/canoeing, bicycling, camping, all things close to the earth and inhabiting my poetic body and soul. Dreams, Reflections, Memory. By Jung. A book I need to read. Some confirmation and guidance in my current status of "it's complicated" and "I'm not 46, I'm 23 again!!!!" Sometimes, even 17, or 13. Relationship status should really indicate, "one's relationship with oneself. Or selves."
My brother John is having a minor surgery in Oakland, CA today. My mom's cousin in Ohio last week suffered a terrible tragedy. Thieves broke into his house at 2 am to get at his rare coin colletion (people he didn't know) and ended up breaking his neck. If he lives, he will be a quadriplegic for the rest of his life. Last night, I was lightened considerably by leading my creative writing workshop at the Riverside Library (touche ending for a rough day)and hanging out with a group of wonderful friends afterwards, who are all part of my group - Mike S, Mike C, Jean, and Wendy. I am so grateful for the wonderful people in my life. Do they even know how much their friendship and circle of goodness mean to me? Especially last night.
Hopscotch to the week. A week of moods, thin cirrus clouds high, a new and much better gynecologist than my previous one met with me, and guess what, I can still have kids. My poetry babies + maybe more. Therapy appointments and a face-cleansing facial, shopping for new clothes. Since Tarah was not with me at Ross Dress for Less, I was on my own, and I boldly asked every passerby in the store to help me decide what was good and what was not. At the discount dress rack, a rarity place for me to be, I asked a woman who turned out to have a great sense of humor.
She said, "I know how to shop, honey. I'm from Dallas, was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and it's still there. The shopping is terrible here in the desert, even with all the high-end stores, but let me help." First thing she said was don't buy any hippy things, because I probably had a lot of them in my closet, and the 60's are gone (how did she know? Oh yeah, I was wearing a tie dye shirt.) She picked out some awesome sun dresses for me. Only in Palm Desert. I am thinking I could probably get by slipping Brindle the Big Dog into stores if I put a "working dog" collar on him - who's to know? He deserves to be there as much as the diamond-collared chihuahuas.....
Anyway, got the clothes home and Tarah looked through them and was hugely impressed. MOM, how did YOU pick out these things? Well....a pair of Coach-brand sandals that turned out to be very expensive, a bitchy high end. She took a few for herself (they ended up not fitting me) and modeled for Alex, then made me try on a couple of the dresses. Alex was very impressed. Oh yeah, and some slick heels I already had, used to wear them to designer events in my Swami days - good luck hunting, Alex said, as he hugged me goodybe. Tarah drifted off in a cloud of lovely light turqoise. They were on their way to breakfast at 1 pm, and they'd been planning to drive to Berkeley and back in two days and bring back some furniture he left in his college dorm there, but it turns out after myriad drama phone calls in the past few days to me - from Tarah - they didn't go after all. Hired a mover to bring the stuff down here. Wonder how much that is costing, and who pays. Don't ask, don't tell. Oh, that, and they want to get married in January. Shit, I forgot to buy underwear at the store. That's why I originally went in there! I did get a faux giraffe print purse. The one without the chemicals that can cause cancer.
Sock puppet. Be someone online and no one will ask or tell. God, only 2 more weeks and Tarah will be 21. July 28th. On the 27th, my nephew Mikhael will be 13. AGHWYEI what happened to the babies and toddlers! I want to get a tattoo on my left bicep, with the name "Tarah" in beautiful script, and two pictures overlapping, one of her as a blonde-ish curly haired toddler with big blue-green eyes, and one now, with her wise and lovely 1/4 Sioux Indian face, long brown hair, and compassionate gaze.
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