A near two-month hiatus from blog writing....
I just wanted to let everyone know I'm winding my way down from a very intensive past several months...a blur and whirl of teaching, lecturing, unbelievable, surrealistic and life-warping tragedy, deeper sorrow than I've ever known, the richest rewards, internal synergies, incredible gifts of reading and speaking with top notch writers, opportunities and joys of the reading moment that are among the most tangible word leaps and spirit connecting and "success" than I ever could have expected or believe I'd ever witness, sweeter memory than I've ever touched, sharper loneliness than I've ever felt, work-shopping, greater gifts than I've ever unboxed, morphing and mingling with groups and individuals of amazing people....from Mapping the Desert to my friend the Marine, from cousin upon cousin visiting from Oklahoma and Texas to student poets and artists at C.O.D.....
connecting the dots from one amazing, uplifting, transformational poetry reading to the next, going to a music rave in Joshua Tree, collaborating on several writing projects, publishing an e-zine, returning to supermom status (Tarah and Alex have moved in with me, sign of the cross,) spending time with more family in the past month than in the past several years, and healing, healing, healing, transforming....tragedy into beauty, life into poemas, heart-shock to memory, and my storied landscape into innovative reality...I am beyond honored that people follow and lead me, time weave through and beyond hugs and words....o, life tapestry...
More than anything, I've been carrying giant yellow notepads for the past several months, writing and writing and writing everything I can: every feeling, every dream, every grief, small joy, private 107 degree afternoon gut sobbing sessions, snuggling up against the random facebook IM session here and there (several who do so much to comfort and support me,) friend outreaches, gentle lentil soup making even without appetite, my big dog approaching me when I crumple on tile floor to show me the love, for every person who saddens me by not making that call, I embrace midnight nude full moon pool swims and sweet mountain waterfall, sage collecting, and wildflower embracing....I'm grateful to be surrounded and immersed in so much love. Year of the Tiger, 2010, and I'm a water tiger.
Keeping my head just above surface line. Immersing, full body and head, and emerging occasionally to remember, I am real. Sometimes. Summer, end-June, and finally finally time to reflect, go within. 2morrow I board a flight for Ashland, Oregon. Peace and pine trees, my first time there. Kiss touch, my loved one. You are and were for real. As I brace for flight and then, the calm of air soaring....above clouds...touchscreen, get a new i-pad, and magick memory and love into i-touch. i-hug. you. Remember. My name is Love.
beautiful incredible Ruth... words of enormous passionate love unfolding into the steps we take toward each other and into the new... hands held across deserts across the years and then... we go forward with the sweep of winds taking us to the edge... and across chasms to a vast beauty. You find it and extend a hand here we come, love you ... breathe deeply inder the pines and send the scent of it all to us! Love.
ReplyDeletedearest Kath Abela!! How lovely of you to post....with your words of wisdom and love and immense beauty! This means so much!! Thank you my loving poetess!!! You are the best, and more!!
ReplyDeleteI have afternoon gut sobbing sessions too... but nobody else knows about it.
ReplyDelete-Nina
Nice, a lot of "at the moment" genuiness and hope. Sounds like the maudlin gauze of grief is lifting. Leaving the security of the routine. I love Oregon, the air smells fresh. Remember to breathe. rkl
ReplyDeleteYou are so blessed to be able to express your heart so intricately....I can hear the exhaustion in your words...the exhale as you get ready to fly away with hopes of relief and refueling. I hope you find the healing you're longing for.
ReplyDeleteI so enjoyed seeing you. Wish we could've had some one-on-one girl time. I didn't get any with my dad or brother, either. Always someone else there.
I'm glad to see your creative juices are flowing again. Keep it coming.
Love you.
Beth